dear mom and dad, in case you were wondering, or maybe forgot or something, I’m going to be eighteen in less than two months, not eight, eighteen. I know this is hard for you to believe for some reason all the sudden, because recently you’ve been treating me as though I were a disobedient child, and not the responsible, mature, smart, and well-rounded christian daughter you praised me as being just a few months ago. Apparently as I approach the age of adulthood, my privileges become fewer and fewer, your trust in me becomes smaller and smaller, and your ability to communicate properly with me vanishes. This is a really strange concept for me to grasp, because all my life I have been well understood by both you, and praised as being the one who stayed out of trouble, and far far away from it, but now all of the sudden I feel as though you think I’m getting into trouble or that I’m going to, atleast that’s how you’ve been treating me. And I don’t get it, how do I prove you guys that I’m still a good kid, and that I haven’t done anything bad… I’m going to be the first of your kids to graduate high school, even though I’m not the first born, then I’m going off to college with a plan, I’m in the process of getting a job, I’m turning eighteen in two months for sjbnaeb sake. I don’t get it, I haven’t even screwed up yet I feel like you don’t have any faith in me anymore. Need I remind you where your first born was at my age, if he wasn’t out spending the night getting high with his friends, he was at a hospital getting his stomach pumped, or maybe by the time he was the age I am now, you were shipping him off to some far away state to try another rehab program, and as soon as he cheated there to get thrown out so he could come home, you’d find him the next state to try. I love him, and I love you guys, but comparatively I’ve done everything right, and tried so hard to make you guys proud. I just feel like now you both just think I’m going to become the next teen mom or something to that extent where you think I’m going to throw my life away. I would never be so stupid, remember I’m responsible, mature, smart, and well rounded. So whatever, I give up trying to solve this puzzle you guys have become, I have Heath to believe in me, I don’t need you guys to anymore anyway.
Who cares.

I just got my letter back form GVSU … They denied me again, cool. thanks. awesome. I can blame everything, and rant about how stupid they are, but thats just too much effort. I’m just cry then give up on everything else. I can never get the things I want most. :/ oh well. I should also be looking at this as GVSU isn’t in Gods’ plan for me yet or ever, but I’m too busy being selfish and only thinking of what I want to acknowledge it as that. I just don’t care about college anymore. I’ll just walk on stage at my senior recital in May not wearing a sweatshirt, because I’m not good enough for college, while all the other seniors wear their UofM or MSU or Hope or GVSU apparel. I’ll just do nothing with me life. who cares.

I want you all to myself, that’s why I get this way. I feel stupid because I trust you, and I know you won’t do anything, I just get so paranoid. I don’t want to share you, and you always seem to hang out with girls. It just frustrates me to no end, for some reason.
I’m about to write a rant so here we go. For the past fifty minutes I’ve been listening to the girls next to me talk about how they’re writing their classification essay on social networking. Cool, awesome, good topic, I don’t care, stop conversing about your opinions on all of the different sites with your friends and WRITE YOUR DAMN PAPER. I feel like going off on them and me and the girl sitting on the other side of me keep exchanging snarky comments about them, since she’s just as annoyed as I am. Basically I’m sick and tired of hearing “If someone deleted my tumblr, I’d die.” and “You should get a tumblr and follow me.” and “it changed my life.” JUST SHUT UP. Okay, before tumblr became “mainstream” it was so much better. I’ve been on tumblr for 2 years this March. You’ve had yours for probably 3 or 4 months…. I hate hearing and seeing all over facebook and twitter how much they love tumblr and everyone should follow them and Follow4Follow…. like just go away, some of my friends have tumblrs now and that’s fine, I follow them, they just have to be prepared to see or read things that I’m thinking they may not be expected, this is like a journal for me, and writing a journal for the kids that go to my school that I barely know, is not an appealing thought. I’ve blocked people from my tumblr because they don’t need to see it. I really just hate how populated tumblr is now, and how people say “I’m so addicted to tumblr, it’s my life.” and “you don’t understand until you start.” I’ve been wasting my nights on tumblr long before you even knew it existed. I could go on forever with this, because I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fully explain how much it pisses me off. drgjerogihbihoanv;oria;erhetnartmarymyterg5i.