i want all the extra fat on my body to fall off and turn into cash

I don’t know why I have so much pent up resentment for her. Maybe because I know she talks down about me behind my back to his siblings. Or because she just got here and already has an engagement ring and a baby when that’s what I want, and I’ve been here 3 times longer. Maybe it’s because she reminds me a lot of Remy, but instead of the genuine friendship and love that remy shows me, she all I see is a pair of judgemental eyes. I have to tell myself that I’m going to college and doing things for my future, and having great experiences that I don’t want to miss, and she’ll never get. It’s so much easier to reciprocate kindness, than it is to just put a brave face on and be nice when I know how she feels.
I’m feeling so creatively vacant lately. Like my desire to make art has left me. I have a half finished painting sitting on an easel in my room that I started over a month ago. I have design ideas posted on pinterest that I want to rework into posters and start an etsy and sell my work, I just don’t have the drive to do it right now. I almost feel like I’ve lost my happiness. Most of the time I just sit alone while everyone else in my life goes on with what’s important to them, and I can’t even muster up the desire to do what’s important to me. I feel like I’m being forgotten.


i’m just tired and sad and want to makeout with you

  • me: walks into living room
  • tv: tonight on how its made
  • me: stands in same spot for 30 minutes watching how garbage bags are made
Long distance isn’t cute. It’s hell and loneliness. I dream of your damn face every night but I never wake up beside it and all I do any more is text you at three a.m. and if that’s cute then pain and suffering is too.
What I think of when you’re gone (via ellieisntbroken)



Lagoon // Iceland #2


ok thanks

(Source: worths)

It’s probably not healthy if every time a phone rings my whole body shakes, even if it’s not my phone. That is a fear. I’m so anxious, it hurts and it shows.

When i was a freshman in high school i took this acting class, mostly because my mom thought that because i danced i could act, and sing and she was so wrong. So one time we had to come up with a character, and then one at a time we sat on the center while we introduced ourselves as our character, and others asked us questions about ourselves as the character. I was so nervous i couldn’t come up with anything other then basically myself, how original right? So when it was my turn i put my hood up, and cuddle my knees into my chest as everyone asked me questions. I felt so anxious my voice was shaking and i swear i was in the verge of tears, even though the questions were only like “what’s your favorite movie, and why?” I was just so painfully shy. My teacher was really impressed, and was like “i hope the rest of you can really convey your character through your body language and voice as well as Monica.” And i was just thinking to myself how little does she know that that character i took on was myself, that’s why it was believable.
Introverts don’t get lonely if they don’t socialize with a lot of people, but we do get lonely if we don’t have intimate interactions on a regular basis.
I have never related to a quote more in my life than I do this one right here, right now. BAM.  (via kbfoto)


I don’t know if my friends understand that they could literally invite me over to sit on their floor and watch a dumb movie. Like I’m really not hard to please, you don’t even have to feed me. Very low maintenance friend right here…I just want to do something that is not at my house okay.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my body. I just wish it was someone else’s.